Karma’s True Life: I Attract Weirdos

 

This isn’t a joke or me trying to be funny.

I seriously attract weirdos into my life. I don’t know how or why I always meet these weird people but they flock to me and it’s getting annoying.

If you follow me on twitter you may remember a few of my stories. Like the one about the radiology tech chick who told me I had a really pretty pelvis as she gave me an ultrasound; maybe you remember the doctor I went to that told me I looked exotic, how his wife was black and “Once you go black, you never go back” all while massaging my feet. Those are the kind of encounters I have everyday. I just don’t get it. What about me tells these weird ass people its okay for them to be themselves around me!?

No, really?

My stories about these people are so weird they are almost hard to believe, but I swear they are true. Let me tell you guys about my most recent weirdo…

I don’t remember his name so lets just call him “Dude”

*shrug* Good enough for me.

Okay usually I don’t give strangers my phone number, I’m not talking about people I talk to everyday online but have never met. I mean people I have never communicated with at all, thought I was attractive and asked for my number.  I only like dealing with people that share a mutual friend with me, that way I know someone can vouch for their sanity or lack thereof . I’ve gotten a lot of negative feedback for operating this way because as my friends put it I can be missing out on the man of my dreams because I don’t give strangers a chance. This is why every now and then I will take a chance on a stranger…

EVERY single time it turned out to be a terrible idea!

I met dude on May 16, 2012 (this is important you will see why later) while doing business at a building a few miles away from my job. I walked into the building and he was having a conversation with one of the guys in there about game 1 of the Lakers and OKC series. I didn’t say anything, I just walked in and started doing what I came there to do so I could hurry up and get back to my job. Dude then turns to me out of the blue and says “Do you like basketball?” I wish I would have said no, but I said yes. He asked who my team was and I told him The Lakers. He then asked me if I wanted to go somewhere to watch the game later that night.

*TIME OUT*

Okay I’ve never seen this guy before. He never spoke to me when I walked in, then he randomly starts talking to me and asks if I want to go watch the game. I STILL don’t even know his name yet.

*TIME IN*

I look at him like he’s crazy and I said “Oh yea, of course because I love just making plans to go watch a game with strangers whose names I don’t even know, will there be alcohol?”
He laughed and told me his name and asked what mine was. After I told him my name he got back to asking about watching the game… (He is actually cute so I’m ignoring all the red flags smh)
I told him I honestly couldn’t go because I didn’t have a babysitter. He asked for my number and proposed a bet on the series. I gave him the number and told him that I’m really busy til like the end of June. After I gave him my number we made a little small talk and he told me he was about to leave work for the day and he hoped I had a good day.

I was at the building for another 15 minutes before heading back to my job. When I got there, dude text me.

May 16th 2:27pm
Dude: Hey Karma, hope you had a good day I’m about to leave in a few.
Me: Thanks :-) must be nice to be going home already

May16th 6:02pm
Dude: Hey Karma you change your mind about watching the game together.
Me: No I won’t be able to, besides I’m still at work.
Dude: Tell them you trying to watch the game with your new man lol well you still have time before the game comes on. Are the kids fine? Are they at daycare

*TIME OUT* 

I just met this dude, why the hell is he inquiring about my daughters!?

*TIME IN*

Me: They would know I was lying if I said that, my kids are good. 
Dude: O ok I know this may sound strange but down the line I don’t mind helping out in the near future ok Karma. Just keep that in mind. So what time do you thing you’re getting off?
Me: You seem sweet.

Okay… 
I just met this guy about 3 hours ago and this is what he texts me!? I really need you guys to pay attention to the dates and the times. After that text he asked me if I could send him a picture that he can save as my contact icon. So I sent him one of my old twitter avi’s.

May16th 6:46pm
Dude
: U look nice Karma. I think we look good together, what you think?

That was kind of  weird because I just met him, but not only that… Why does this guy keep saying my name!? It took me a while to reply because this whole conversation was getting creepy.

May16th 7:30pm
Me: LOL  (hahaha that was all I came up with)
Dude: Well if you have time I want to see you later. Maybe make it a blockbuster night. <—– It’s official dude is a pure fucking weirdo!! Keep in mind this is the same day I met him 5 hours earlier! Of course I completely ignored that text and didn’t send a reply. I figured he would catch the hint about even mentioning a blockbuster night 5 hours after you meet someone.

May17th 5:38am <— YES at 5 fucking AM!
Dude: Have a good day Karma I was hoping to see you last night but you didn’t reply, just hit me when you can. If you’re free for lunch let me know.
Me: Thanks… I’m supposed to be going to lunch with my friends but if I don’t maybe I’ll hit you up.

May17th 11:30am
Dude: I’m off so just let me know

May17th 3:02pm
Dude: Hope you had a good day Karma, I was hoping to hear from you during lunch. But you may have been busy so I understand when you get some time hit me so we can talk and get to know each other.

May17th 6:27pm
Me: Miami Heat not looking so hot!!! hahahahahaha

Okay… I stopped replying to him because he was getting weird on me, but he’s a heat fan and after hearing him talk so much shit about The Lakers losing I had to talk shit. After that text he called me. This was the first time I talked to him since I met him. He still knows nothing about me and I know nothing about him. In this phone conversation he said I’m a busy person and I reminded him that I told him when he asked me for my number that I was busy til like the end of June. He said he understands that I’m a single mother and that maybe he can just come by so I don’t have to find a sitter and bring the kids pizza and stuff. Now I’m getting mad, because I’m trying not to be rude, but this shit is getting irritating! I told him that he’s not coming around my kids so he doesn’t have to bring it up anymore. He said he understood and that he has a daughter and thought maybe he could even bring her sometimes so they can play. Please keep in mind this is the next day after I met him and I don’t remember his name and don’t know anything about him! Anyway, I told him I had to go and then got off the phone.

May17th 10:36pm
Dude: Hope you have a good night Karma. If I don’t hear from you this weekend hope you and the kids have a good weekend. Would be nice to hang out with you.
Me: Thanks you have a good night too I’m super busy so I’ll be up for a while, but enjoy your weekend.
Dude: You want me to stop by

What the flying fuck is wrong with this guy!!!? Do I want him to stop by!? Did he really think I was going to give him my address and say “Sure come on by” smh. That text was all I could take, I’m never responding to his weird ass again. I knew him for one day and in that day he forced a potential relationship on me, tried to take care of me and my kids, and said my name a lot. I don’t understand how he thought this approach was okay?

Needless to say I’m done trying to give strangers a chance. I honestly have no reason to worry about missing out on the man of my dreams because I’ve found him, and once we get our timing right and I get my mind right on this whole marriage thing I’m so afraid of, we can be great together.

Oh yea and dude did end up texting me again…

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2 thoughts on “Karma’s True Life: I Attract Weirdos

  1. u ever thought that everyone else is sane and ur the weird one? lol #TheresAthought

  2. LMFAO Shut up!! I’m not the weirdo

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